I have this thing with writing. It’s a love/hate thing. It’s a good/bad thing. It’s that thing where you sometimes would rather stick the pen in your eye then stick it to paper. It’s also that thing that puts the blood back in your body after you’ve already lost so much. It flows through the tubes and through your veins. It’s the restarting of your heart.
I have this thing with writing. It’s those dreams that come to you in the dead of night, jerking you awake, only to slip silently away. It’s the moment in the early morning where the words are all there is. Where they’re all you want them to be.
In my mind, every small popcorn kernel is deafening. Popping up when I want them and popping up when I don’t. Exploding when the lights are off and when the shower is running.
When I’m not writing I’m reminded of the things I want to forget and the things I don’t want to hear. And when I am writing, I’m reminded that the mind is a terrible thing…to waste.
I read an article recently, entitled “Sorry, Not Sorry: How I quit apologizing for existing” by Rowan Blanchard, and it got me thinking.
Being serious. Sometimes I hear people say that they pride themselves on not taking themselves too seriously. That they’re able to just go with the flow and see where it takes them. As if, taking oneself seriously is a bad thing. Well, I reject that idea. We, as people, and especially as women, should take ourselves very seriously. Because if we don’t, then who will?
And I don’t mean this in the sense that we have to be serious people. I mean that our person, our authentic self, must be serious. Take yourself seriously as hell. Do not apologize for being who you are or for who you are not. Be serious about who you are. Don’t let anyone diminish what you’ve worked for and what you still desire to accomplish. Take.Yourself.Seriously. Respect from others starts with respecting yourself.
When we stop apologizing for being who we are, that’s when we start taking ourselves seriously.
I’ve been thinking a lot and you know how dangerous thinking can be.
I’ve been thinking that people can be misunderstood because they misunderstand where the other person has stood or where they think they might stand. To make yourself clear you have to start by explaining yourself. But to explain yourself you have to make plain your self but sometimes you just end up paining yourself. So maybe some things are better left unsaid and instead you should look to the view overhead.
I’ve been thinking a lot, but I did not allot for the simple idea that it might make me distraught. But these outrageous ideas keep coming to me and I told you how dangerous thinking can be.