Love Yourself

I think I could learn to love you

I think I could learn to love

I think I could learn to

I think I could learn

I think I could

I think I

I think


I think

I think I

I think I could

I think I could learn

I think I could learn to

I think I could learn to love

I think I could learn to love myself

Shattered Glass

This shattered world is composed of a million shattered hearts

Our fragility is not to be taken lightly

Our fight is to be taken seriously

Like the fissured glass

Once broken, we are hard to put back together

Though we may come out different

It is not entirely impossible

After It All

Tonight, I’m opening the door

Climbing the stairs, step by step

Walking toward the unknown

The darkness waiting for the light

To switch on and open

Your eyes to everything

You’ve seen and have yet to see

After it all, there’s one thing left

It’s all that you’ll ever need




Love in the Time of Hannibal

*** when in doubt, aka writer’s block, write what you know. And what I know is Hannibal***

Of all the television that I’ve watched in my day, not a single show has stuck with me the way NBC’s Hannibal (2013) has. For those unfamiliar, Hannibal, based on the characters by Thomas Harris, tells the story of Hannibal Lecter, the renowned psychiatrist and his patient Will Graham, an FBI criminal profiler, who struggles with his ability to empathize with serial killers. However, this isn’t your typical “Hannibal the Cannibal” tale about a man who kills and eats people. In creator Bryan Fuller’s (American Gods, Pushing Daisies) world of Hannibal, it is so much more than that. For you may find, as time goes on, that it’s nearly impossible not to develop an ounce of affection for the one person who truly understand you, regardless of those sticky predilections.

This, instead, is a story of two men trying to make sense of a world in which they cannot redraw their hand. While one lives his life through the lens of pure ego and narcissism, the other lives his life, and is haunted by, the simple fact that his empathy overpowers him. Hannibal Lecter, the sociopath who has no empathy at all and Will Graham, the young profiler who has too much.

In the early episodes of Hannibal, the task is an uncomplicated one: to catch a killer. But in order to do so, we must bring in elements of the complicated. Will Graham (Hugh Dancy), on a good day, is anything but uncomplicated. As a young man who empathizes with serial killers, his job becomes a dangerous one. For fear of getting too close to the cases he’s been brought in to solve, Jack Crawford (Lawrence Fishburne), head of the FBI Behavioral Science Unit, sends Will to see Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Mads Mikkelson) with the hope that the good doctor can help ease Will’s stress and therefore help Jack get the job done.

And it works. For a time.

Will and Hannibal’s relationship is one that supersedes the most common notions of what it means to care for another person. Usually, when we have feelings for someone, platonic or otherwise, we find that their best interest also becomes our best interest. We want for them what they want. Happiness, success, joy, comfort, and above all, love. But what happens to a relationship when your deepest desires overpower theirs? And when you can’t help but feel as though they would be much better off doing as you do.

That’s when it happens. That’s when murder happens.

Dr. Hannibal Lecter is anything but ordinary. He’s suave. He’s charismatic. He’s charming. And he’s an exceptionally good cook. But underneath the expensive suits and grandiose language is an overwrought imagination. An imagination that extends far beyond the realm of decency and hope. To Hannibal Lecter, death, is the only significant thing life has to offer.

Hannibal is a man who feels very alone in his extracurricular activities. Yes, there are those out there who seek to emulate him, but there is no one quite like him. And it’s in this isolated state that Hannibal finds himself a tether in one Will Graham. Will’s overwhelming empathy and Hannibal’s lack thereof, makes Will the perfect candidate for sculpting. And sculpt Will Graham, he does. Into the very man Will has always been so terrified of becoming.

If we are to think about love in the time of Hannibal, one thing comes to mind: tolerance.

As the series goes on, the eventual discovery of Hannibal’s true nature comes to light. And it is a bloody discovery. However, the empathetic man that is Will Graham comes to terms with this truth in the only way he knows how.

He tolerates it. He doesn’t sympathize with it. He doesn’t feel compassion towards it. He tolerates it because he understands it. The urges, the impulses, the desires. He sees these inclinations as what truly makes Hannibal, Hannibal. And it’s through this understanding that Hannibal, for all his faults and misdeeds, finds himself enamored. Regardless of whether or not you agree that a sociopath, devoid of all conscience, even has a capacity for love, the show Hannibal reaches out through the dark and pulls you in, making you question everything you ever thought you knew on the subject.

And then twists it into something unrecognizable. And although most relationships are built on trust, in this case, simple truth will do. When you find you can be honest with someone, you find that you can show them your true self. And Hannibal finds that in Will Graham. And by the end of the series, Will Graham, not only sees Hannibal, he finally sees himself. His true nature and what Hannibal has always believed Will has been capable of. And it’s in this discovery of their true selves that they find comfort and solace in each other.

But if love is wont to destroy Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal will not go down without taking Will Graham with him. After all, the deeming of the term “Murder Husbands” does not go without merit.

But whether or not they survive this free fall is a story for another season.

2016 Film Rankings

“Every night I cut out my heart. But in the morning it was full again.” – The English Patient


In February of 1996, The English Patient, a story of a fateful love affair told in flashbacks, won Best Picture.

20 years later, in February of 2016, Moonlight, a chronicle of the childhood, adolescence and adulthood of a young, gay black man, growing up in Miami, won Best Picture.

2016 has been a year filled with groundbreaking films, ceiling shattering actors, producers & directors and it’s a year of film not to be forgotten. This is my list of all the movies I saw in theaters in 2016, from favorite to least favorite.

**These are strictly my opinion and my opinion only**

  1. Moonlight – 3 Wins (Best Picture, Actor in a Supporting Role, Adapted Screenplay) & 8 Nominations (Best Picture, Actor in a Supporting Role, Actress in a Supporting Role, Cinematography, Directing, Film Editing, Original Score, Adapted Screenplay)
  2. Hidden Figures – 3 Nominations (Best Picture, Actress in a Supporting Role, Adapted Screenplay)
  3. The Witch
  4. 10 Cloverfield Lane
  5. Zootopia – 1 Win (Animated Feature Film) & 1 Nomination (Animated Feature Film)
  6. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 1 Win (Costume Design) & 2 Nominations (Costume Design, Production Design)
  7. Captain America: Civil War
  8. Moana – 2 Nominations (Animated Feature Film, Original Song)
  9. Kubo and the Two Strings – 2 Nominations (Animated Feature Film, Visual Effects)
  10. Finding Dory
  11. Nocturnal Animals – 1 Nomination (Actor in a Supporting Role)
  12. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story – 1 Nomination (Sound Mixing)
  13. Deadpool
  14. La La Land – 6 Wins (Actress in a Leading Role, Cinematography, Directing, Original Score, Original Song, Production Design) & 13 Nominations (Best Picture, Actor in a Leading Role, Actress in a Leading Role, Cinematography, Costume Design, Directing, Film Editing, Original Score, Original Song, Production Design, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Original Screenplay)
  15. Doctor Strange – 1 Nomination (Visual Effects)
  16. Star Trek Beyond – 1 Nomination (Makeup and Hairstyling)
  17. The Lobster – 1 Nomination (Original Screenplay)
  18. Ghostbusters
  19. The Edge of Seventeen
  20. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
  21. X-Men: Apocalypse
  22. The Light Between Oceans
  23. 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi – 1 Nomination (Sound Mixing)
  24. Eddie the Eagle
  25. The Boy
  26. Pride & Prejudice & Zombies
  27. Assassin’s Creed
  28. The 5th Wave
  29. The Legend of Tarzan
  30. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
  31. The Girl on the Train
  32. Office Christmas Party
  33. The Forest
  34. Jason Bourne
  35. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
  36. Knights of Cups

I Can See It…

When my eyes are closed, I can see it.

The orange lights shining on the horizon

The thunderous mountains just beginning to emerge

The wind whipping through my hair

As my feet pound the pavement

Step after ever present step

When my eyes are closed, I can see it.

The feel of fingers in hair

Eyelashes fluttering shut at the sensation

Fingers grazing knuckles as they intertwine

The pure knowledge that you’re not the only one

Who truly exists

When my eyes are closed, I can see it.

The Mind is a Terrible Thing…

I have this thing with writing. It’s a love/hate thing. It’s a good/bad thing. It’s that thing where you sometimes would rather stick the pen in your eye then stick it to paper. It’s also that thing that puts the blood back in your body after you’ve already lost so much. It flows through the tubes and through your veins. It’s the restarting of your heart.

I have this thing with writing. It’s those dreams that come to you in the dead of night, jerking you awake, only to slip silently away. It’s the moment in the early morning where the words are all there is. Where they’re all you want them to be.

In my mind, every small popcorn kernel is deafening. Popping up when I want them and popping up when I don’t. Exploding when the lights are off and when the shower is running.

When I’m not writing I’m reminded of the things I want to forget and the things I don’t want to hear. And when I am writing, I’m reminded that the mind is a terrible thing…to waste.