To tell you the truth, I haven’t written on this blog in a year. In fact, it’s been a year and 5 days since I’ve written.
The truth is the reason I was writing so much in 2018 we because I was incredibly unhappy and writing was the only thing that helped me get through it.
Honestly, the reason I haven’t been writing now, is because I’m in a much better place than I was before. I’ve been finding fun and beauty and happiness in life again and that’s why I haven’t written.
But to tell you the truth, I should write about the good things just as much as the bad. The good is just as important to my growth as a person. Life isn’t all about the down. It includes the upside, the sunshine and the days that just fly by.
Honestly, I wish I had written more over the past year because I have a lot to say and a lot to share.
Lately, I’ve been…I’ve been thinking I want you to be happier. I want you to be happier.
Marshmello ft. Bastille
This song has been playing on repeat lately. And it’s because I want myself to be happier. Finding happiness isn’t always easy. And sometimes you don’t even realize how happy you were until it’s gone.
Lately, I’ve found happiness evading me in certain aspects of my life and I’m working to get it back. It’s been incredibly hard. Some days are harder than others, but I have to remind myself that one day, I’ll find it.
One day, happiness and I will be friends again. We’ve just drifted apart for a while. But we’ll find our way back to each other.
It’s been a trying few weeks
Few months is more like it
I’ve come to the conclusion
We have to do the things
We don’t want to
That’s just the way it is
And it’s harder than it seems
I’d like to say
It would be easy
Not to do things
And sometimes it is
Sometimes it is
But right now
And the days feel long
And the weeks are taxing
But the day eventually ends
And a new one starts
And one of these days
Will be the start
A fun change this month – a new look! Collaborator/longtime friend/cousin Katie Hands graciously shared her work for this post in addition to tips on site design. Katie is a wonderful writer, and hosts her own blog, here. Please take a look.
This month we focused in on the theme of Patience – one that both of us have been wrestling through lately. It’s a trying time. As we know. The search for patience can sometimes feel like a lost cause. However, time takes its time. Brighter days. The revolution must be joyous.
Days gone by by Katie Hands
There are many things
I never told you
Because I didn’t take the time
The words spilled out
Inside my head
Drowning out the rest
Those words I spoke
But didn’t speak
Haunt me to this day
There are many things
I should have said But couldn’t…
There are times in my life when things get especially hard, when the weight of the world crushes down on my shoulders, back and chest. When it gets hard to swallow and the tears threaten to break forth. When the world outside is cold and unforgiving. Now, feels like one of those times. It’s a time when I can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. When the tunnel is just a tunnel and the tunnel is never ending.
But, I find that surrounding myself with things that bring their own light to my life, then I at least have a flashlight to guide me within the tunnel. One that shines on the dark spaces and reveals them for what they really are. Simply cracked, grey concrete.
The idea to break through with force and with rage is appealing. But it’s not the only way. I’ve found that if I keep enough battery in the flashlight, if I keep feeding it with the little things that I love, I will eventually find my way out of this tunnel and into the sunshine. To feel the wind on my face or the spray of the sea.
Because I know it’s waiting for me to reach it and to tell me that this, too, shall pass, eventually. So I’m taking the steps to get there, one at a time, flashlight in hand.