As I sit here in my NYU dorm room, applying for jobs in the publishing field and trying not to forget to meet with my Book Imprint group from the NYU Summer Publishing Institute, in which I am currently spending 6 weeks of my life, I find that the thing that is constantly on my mind isn’t getting a job or my excitement/anguish about this new book project. Instead, it’s about love. What my mind constantly creeps back towards is not what I’m going to spend my life doing but instead who I’m going to spend my life with. I am one of those people that tells myself that I would be perfectly happy being married to my career. Especially if that career will keep the heat on and food on the table and my soul intact (for the descent into hell is an easy one. It’s getting back that’s hard). But I don’t expect this career to hold my hand or wipe away my tears or hold me as I fall asleep.
So is there a possible solution to this conundrum? I suppose I can’t worry about one more than the other. I’m told both will come in their own time. But time is a tricky thing. It waits around for no one and continues on without a second glance. Time knows patience and impatience just as we do. But it doesn’t know how we’ll spend it. I suppose I’ll just keep telling myself that I have plenty of it.
Or I could just stop listening to so many love songs. Yeah.
Inspired by Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” from his new album “X”.