Are you a night owl or are you the early bird? What’s your most productive time of day? When do you do your best work?
There are days when my mind begins to spin out of control. It’s mostly at night when I find myself taking on the heavy weight of living and there isn’t a life raft in sight. It’s those times when I can’t distinguish thoughts from ideas, ideas from worries and worries from nightmares. Some nights I’m lay in bed listening to the sounds of the outside world and wish I was out there with them. Under the stars, beneath the rain, beside the howling winds. It’s the prospect of the air outside that keeps me together. It’s the hope that eventually this night will pass and I’ll find my way through the darkness. I’ll find a way towards the shining sun. But until then, my mind swirls on. Going from one moment to the next and over analyzing what I could have done differently or even not at all. It’s night like these when the voices grow louder and scream they do. This darkness only adds fuel to their flame and to the fire in my belly. It suddenly becomes not about me but about them. Once the rage takes over and strikes back at them, I can find a soothing calmness. A calm that plants itself inside my mind and cuddles down beside the dark thoughts. It pretends to be their ally, their friend, but it will cut it’s throat in its sleep. Push it over the side and let it fall into oblivion. It’s only then that the darkness recedes away and the hope for a new morning breaks free of its chains.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that plenty of ideas come to me at night. Many of those ideas, however, always seem to slip away right as I’m about to grasp them. By the light of the morning, I can sometimes find my way back to them.
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